Line Story and revised

Original

 I was woken up early and forced to get ready. "I don't want to go. I'm scared", I said. "You have to go" the voice behind me said. I am being sent to a known, but unknown place. I saw it on TV many times, but still did not know what to expect. Once I was ready,  I was given breakfast. "Today is your big day", the voice said, "Are you excited?" "No", I muttered. I was given a hug and assured that everything will be ok. Once I finished, I brushed my teeth and before I knew it, I was heading out the front door to the car. We pulled out of the driveway and we were off to the place of mystery and uncertainness. Houses passed, trees passed, like the sands in an hourglass, they counted the time I had left before we arrived. "We're here", the voice said, "Let's go" I got out of the car and saw other people like me being forced to go. I saw a girl who was ever so excited to be here. "Why is she excited?", I thought to myself, "She's the only one who's happy" I walked down the sidewalk with my head down watching my feet drag across the concrete. I came to a door. I went in. I saw other people bidding farewell and being left behind. Alone. With other people they do not know. I was walked to my classroom up to the door. It was open. I could see other people in there. "Time to go", the voice said, "I love you, have fun" I turned around and looked at the floor. There was a black piece of rubber that marked the transition from cold, hard tile, to hard, but softer carpet. To me, it was a line of uncertainty. I was told to go on, to walk in the room, to cross the line. The nervousness slowed me, the fear stopped me, the anxiety made my stomach uneasy. In other words, I was terrified. I crossed it and went on walking. There was a woman inside who asked me what my name was. "J-Josh", I stuttered. "The woman said, "Have a great first day of school, Josh, please have a seat"



Revised

 I was woken up early and forced to get ready. "I don't want to go. I'm scared", I said. "You have to go" the voice behind me said. I am being sent to a known, but unknown place. I saw it on TV many times, but still did not know what to expect. Once I was ready,  I was given breakfast. "Today is your big day", the voice said, "Are you excited?" "No...", I muttered. I was given a hug and assured that everything will be ok. Once I finished, I brushed my teeth and before I knew it, I was heading out the front door to the car. We pulled out of the driveway and we were off to the place of mystery and uncertainness. Houses passed, trees whizzed by, like the sands in an hourglass, they counted the time I had left before we arrived. "We're here", the voice said, "Let's go" I got out of the car and saw other people like me being forced to go. I saw a girl who was ever so excited to be here. "Why is she excited?", I thought to myself, "She's the only one who's happy" I walked down the sidewalk with my head down watching my feet drag across the concrete. I came to a door. I went in. I saw other people bidding farewell and being left behind. Alone. With other people they do not know. I was walked to my classroom up to the door. It was open. I could see other people in there. "Time to go", the voice said, "I love you, have fun" I turned around and looked at the floor. There was a black piece of rubber that marked the transition from cold, hard tile, to hard, but softer carpet. To me, it was a line of uncertainty. I was told to go on, to walk in the room, to cross the line. The nervousness slowed me, the fear stopped me, the anxiety made my stomach uneasy. In other words, I was terrified. I crossed it and went on walking. There was a woman inside who asked me what my name was. "J-Josh", I stuttered. "The woman said, "Have a great first day of school, Josh, please have a seat"